She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
