ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
