Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize