she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
