You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Randomize
