she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
