chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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