I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
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