somebody snuck up and got me drunk
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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