I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
they call him Oral-B. enough said
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
