so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
