The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
