After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
They are going to name an STD after you.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
