At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
