Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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