In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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