Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
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