and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
