don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I don't think brook has ever known best
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Omg I joined a choir last night...
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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