you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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