But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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