I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
