High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
