My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
