do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Randomize
