I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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