its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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