I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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