I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
