You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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