I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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