You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize
