ya dads aren't the best wingmen
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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