Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
