2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Is it because I queefed?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
