wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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