i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
