i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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