And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize