i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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