She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize