no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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