Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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