I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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