I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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