hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
