he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize