I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Randomize
