I'm going to jail i love you
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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