I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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