the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
