PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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