Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
