sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
