belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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