dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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