I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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