Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
