Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
