she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
