Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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