i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
