is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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